A young bride-to-be is terrified of losing her best friend after deciding she won’t invite her ‘toxic’ other half to her wedding.
Speaking on Reddit, the young woman explained that her wedding will take place in South Korea – where her boyfriend’s family is from – and that it will be a very intimate affair.
She’s having a second wedding in the US, which will be bigger, but still “not big enough” to invite her friend’s partner.
The bride-to-be explained that her friend is often left a sobbing mess by the man who verbally abuses her, cheats on her and forces her to have sex without birth control.
They will break up and then – after a period of deep depression – her friend will become ‘euphoric’ and she will know that they are back together.
A young bride-to-be is terrified of losing her best friend after deciding she won’t invite her ‘toxic’ other half to her wedding
“My girlfriend has told me countless times that her boyfriend is excited about my wedding in South Korea. I never invited him or her,” she said.
She added that her partner’s family would prefer that only immediate family attend the wedding in their home country.
“I finally told her yesterday that my future in-laws only want the wedding to be for their family. My friend paused in disappointment and said, “…well, that’s a shame, I’ll tell my friend that he can still look forward to the wedding you have in the US,” she said.
The young woman now faces another awkward conversation with her friend.
“I don’t know how to tell her that I really don’t want him there.” “I’m thinking of saying I won’t invite significant others because it’s going to be an intimate wedding,” she said.
“But the problem with that is that my fiancée’s best friend, who is going to the wedding, is bringing his girlfriend.”
The bride-to-be said she has no issues with her partner’s girlfriend, and is an active member of their friendship group.
She just doesn’t want to cause trouble when it seems like her own best friend’s toxic partner is the only one left out.
‘I never hung out with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. I always tried to make plans with them and see if I could like this guy for my friend’s sake, but that never happened. I just don’t understand why he’s looking forward to both of my weddings.’
The folks at Reddit were told by the woman to stand her ground – with many explaining that her friend will “thank her later.”
“He sounds like a bad person and I would draw a line in the sand. If not, you risk appearing dishonest about your moral superiority; that you only condemn bad behavior if it affects your wallet,” said one man.
He suggested she say something like, “Boyfriend, I love you, but I can’t in good conscience have someone like that in my life, and that includes events you’re invited to. I understand if you choose not to come, I hope to be able to connect with you again one day when you are no longer bound by this type of behavior.”
A second echoed this.
The woman is throwing two wedding parties, but doesn’t want her best friend’s partner to attend either
‘I can’t imagine having such a lousy guy at my wedding. The invitation is for her and her alone. He’s not there at all, like I don’t want a terribly offensive hole on my special day. I have to be honest with her and tell her how I really feel about this person and that I don’t want him there.”
But others warned the bride-to-be.
“If they live together, you can’t really invite her and you can’t invite him without major problems happening,” one woman said.
“Invite them both and accept that there is someone you don’t want at your wedding, like I had to do with my sister-in-law.”
The bride-to-be said she hopes the couple isn’t together by the time the official invites go out.
“It just annoys me that she assumes he’s invited.”
